I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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