There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
