people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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