At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
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her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
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I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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