I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
