So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
