How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
