But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
