I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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