omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize