The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
