dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
