There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
