Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
