I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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