so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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