i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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