summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
