i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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