Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
