I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
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I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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