Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
His nipple licking is glorious
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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