Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
