Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
