Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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