How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
