i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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