That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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