Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
