I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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