From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(