Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm way too hungover for life right now