New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
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M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
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My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Oh, makes sense.