Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
