I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
