I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
