my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize