We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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