Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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