So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
