Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
