it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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