I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
