Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
