he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
