Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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