Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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