Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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