Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
