She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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