i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
