I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
