I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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