Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
