fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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