we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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