just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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