VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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