Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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