so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
