Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
