After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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