so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
