Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize