It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
