I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I fill condoms, not promises.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
