i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
