I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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